Managing COVID Uncertainty

by Rachel Berg

Uncertainty is a given in life but rarely have we collectively faced uncertainty in such a way. As the COVID-19 outbreak has shown, life can change very quickly and unpredictably. 2020 has been a mixture or grief and hope wrapped up into one. Nine months into the pandemic many of us are still left with questions. When will I be able to hug my family again? Will I or a loved one get sick? If we do get sick will we be okay? What will I do when unemployment ends? When will I be able to go back to work? Is this or that activity or social interaction worth the risk? Will I be judged for making this decision that may be deemed unsafe by others? How do I keep myself safe if others are not following guidelines? If this time feels hard for you it does not indicate a failure on your part. Sometimes having a hard time means you’re responding naturally to things that are hard. It is normal to grieve and miss the things we have lost or anticipated this year.

To cope with all of this uncertainty many of us are consumed with worry trying to predict the future in hopes that a solution will arrive or that we will be prepared for the worst. Chronic worry is emotionally depleting. It keeps many of us up at night with racing thoughts that are difficult to turn off and robs us of enjoying the present moment. Chronic worry can leave you feeling defeated, hopeless, angry, anxious, paralyzed, and even numb. To cope with the effect of chronic worrying do you find yourself drinking or smoking more than you did before? Eating for comfort? Buying things just to feel good? You are not alone.

Substances, food, and shopping all trigger the reward center in our brain that releases ‘happy chemicals.’ They are quick fixes that help us feel better in the moment but relying on these quick fixes to cope can become problematic. The quick fixes also do not address the true underlying issue of our relationship with uncertainty. There are healthier ways to cope with uncertainty and stop chronic worrying before it takes a toll.

The following are tips for dealing with uncertainty:

1. Accept the future as uncertain.
   There will always be things outside of your control. However, you have the power to control the way you think and in turn, the way you feel and this is the key to coping with difficult circumstances and facing the unknown.

2. Ask yourself what can I control at this moment.
   By focusing on what you can control, you’ll switch from ineffective worrying into active problem-solving which can be empowering. There may be situations in which all you can control is the way you think about a situation or problem which will in turn impact the way you feel.

3. Turn towards your emotional experience.
   We are human beings. We experience emotions. It is normal to experience negative and uncomfortable emotions and the best thing we can do for ourselves is turn towards those emotions with compassion and curiosity. If you are feeling a strong emotion bring your attention to the present moment. Focus on how your body is experiencing that emotion. Where is that emotion living in your body? Breathe into those spaces where you are feeling the emotion in your body and allow yourself to simply feel and observe the emotion you’re experiencing without judgment.

4. Focus on the present.
   Uncertainty is usually accompanied by thinking and worrying about the future. The antidote for thinking about the future is focusing on the present. When you find your mind drifting into the future guide your attention back to the present. It is in the present that we can tap into how we feel, what we want, and what we need.

5. Manage stress and anxiety.
   Stress is about survival. We evolved to fight, flee, and freeze to survive predators in the wild. Our world has evolved so that we don’t face the same physical dangers often anymore that our ancestors did but our brain still operates and responds as if we are. The key to managing stress is not simply "relaxing" or "calming down." It is allowing the stress response cycle that gets triggered to complete. Allow it to fully discharge. How do you complete that cycle?

   • Move your body! Run, dance, bike, go for a walk. Exercise is proven to release stress. And if you can’t engage in exercise, try tensing all of your muscles and holding for a slow count of ten and then relaxing.

• Seek Safety! Create a safe comfortable space where you can retreat. Have a designated person that will listen, validate, and empathize with your experiences. I also recommend a 20-second hug. A minimum of twenty seconds will trigger the release of oxytocin, sometimes called the “cuddle hormone.” Your heart rate will slow and you will have an increased feeling of comfort and well-being.

• Rest! A full night’s sleep is one of the best restorative activities. Make sure you are practicing good sleep hygiene when you are stressed and if you have trouble falling asleep, experts say that if you find yourself lying in bed with your thoughts are racing, you should get out of bed and do your worrying elsewhere. This helps train your mind and body that a bed is a place for sleeping and sex, not for ruminating.

And remember, if you ever need a professional and licensed counselor to talk to, we at Soleil Psychotherapy are here and ready to help.